


is this the end?

by flopsnonstop



Category: ASTRO (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Kissing (just a teeny bit only though heh), M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 17:45:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15734334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flopsnonstop/pseuds/flopsnonstop
Summary: The future of the 11 boys is uncertain, even more so when it comes to Seongwu and Minhyun's relationship. Their road to figuring it out doesn't come so easy though, not when it comes with misunderstandings and mishaps.Prompt #15: Seongwu chooses Minhyun as his stage partner for Wanna One’s final concert. A short story starting on their first day of practice to D-Day





	is this the end?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> First of all, thank you to whoever left this prompt, it was so lovely to write. I hope this has at least met your expectations, and I’m sorry if it’s a disappointment :(
> 
> The songs I’ve quoted in this fic, and the songs that have given me so much inspiration in writing this, are Calum Scott’s What I Miss Most and Astro’s Always You (lyrics quoted for this song are the English translations from the original lyrics), which is why I gave Astro a little cameo in this fic hehe :) These are wonderful songs with such beautiful lyrics, do give them a listen!
> 
> Enjoy!!

**_It must have been a year since_ **

**_I was thrown across an ocean far from home_ **

 

 

‘Wanna One Finale Concert: Duet Pairings’. 11 pairs of eyes stared up at the words presented to them. Hearts, heavy, dreading the next - last - two months they would spend together. Yet, they were excited. Excited to have this remaining time all to themselves. No spotlights, no cameras. Just 11 best friends being best friends, working towards their final destination as a group. Excited to return to their families, after a gruelling year away. Excited to see what the future holds. For themselves, for one another.

 

 

“Okay boys, pick your pairings.”

 

 

For Seongwu and Minhyun? This was something both had been looking forward to since the first time they’d heard the other’s voice, and then, their voices, together. It was nothing short of melodious, beautiful. Their voices just… fit, almost as perfectly as they did.

 

 

The two locked eyes, now filled with childlike anticipation, with one another across the wide mahogany table. Seongwu, though, being the tease that he was, decided that he had developed an interest in staring at the bare ceiling above, and pondered over which member he wanted to duet with. He knew, how much Minhyun loved that look of defiance on his face ( _‘Why, and how, do you look so cute when you do that??’_ ), and how Minhyun would end up eating two more portions of jokbal at three in the morning every time Seongwu shot him that look, threatening to return to his room.

 

 

Minhyun smirked. Not this time. “Hey Jaehwan, do you -”

 

 

_Oh shit. Hell no, Hwang Minhyun._ Seongwu’s hand shot up.

 

 

“Manager hyung, Minhyun and I -”

 

 

“Yes yes, Seongwu, we all know you and Minhyun will be doing the duet together, it’s all you lovebirds have been talking about even before your debut. Happy now eh?”

 

 

At the mention of their relationship - or whatever you’d call their handholding and constant ‘gazing into each other eyes like you would never see them again’ (according to Woojin), the cheeky look on Seongwu’s face was immediately replaced by one of bashfulness - a look Minhyun also loved - but his smile was as bright and wide as the one Minhyun sported, too.

 

 

Finally.

 

 

 

**_I'm jealous of the way the black bird flies_ **

_**Free among the people** _

 

 

“No, Seongwu, that’s not what you should be doing! How are you not getting this?” Their dance instructor sighed, clearly frustrated. “Listen you two, we’ll wrap this session up today, this clearly isn’t going anywhere. Seongwu, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’d best get your shit together by tomorrow, I don’t get paid to watch you make the same mistakes over and over again.”  

 

 

The choreography for the duet was simple. Seongwu too, knew he would have been able to nail it in seconds on any normal day. Then again, when has life this past year ever been ‘normal’? Or was this the new ‘normal’ that he had to get used to?

 

 

He retreated to the wall nearest to him and sank to the ground, head in hands.

 

 

“Hey”, Minhyun sat himself down next to him, bringing Seongwu’s head, sweat and all, to his shoulder.

 

 

“You alright?” Seongwu shot up. “Alright? Sure, Minhyun, I’ve spent the past week doing _nothing_ but prepare for this duet, the finale concert, my guest performance at Astro’s concert, packing to go back to film in the _fucking_ jungle,” He scoffed, flinging his towel onto the ground, “yes, I’m completely fine, thanks for asking.”

 

 

Time for Minhyun to lighten the mood.

 

 

“Well on the bright side, you’ve got your jungle mukbangs to look forward to don’t you? Speaking of which, you’re only done with packing what, half of your stuff? Alright, get off your butt, time to head back to the dorms to get on with packing, you lazy bum.”

 

 

Seongwu immediately perked up at the sound of mukbangs, and much to Minhyun’s pride, he got up, linked arms with Minhyun, and practically skipped out of the room, dragging Minhyun with him. Minhyun couldn't help but laugh. _Choding._

 

 

“Time to pack for the jungle woohoo! Gosh I can't wait, man.”

 

 

Minhyun rolled his eyes, and laughed that laugh that never failed to make Seongwu weak. “We both know I’m just going to end up being the one doing the packing, don’t we? What are you going to do after we disband, Ong Seongwu, no one there to help you pack, to help you clean your room, no one to share jokbal with you, no one for you to laugh at anymore. What _will_ you do, Seongwu-ssi?”

 

 

Seongwu released his arm from Minhyun’s, stopping in his tracks, Minhyun following suit.

 

 

“So that’s it? Once this group is over, we’re over too? You’re not even entertaining the thought of us being able to take this further?

 

 

This past year I’ve been satisfied just being around you, having midnight snacks with you, sneaking off at night with you, holding your hand in mine. But I want more, Minhyun, I want, so so much, to finally be able to kiss you, to be able to call you... call you my boyfriend. Is that really too much to ask?”

 

 

Minhyun’s froze. He wasn’t expecting this question to come so soon. He had always known what he was going to say, but he still didn’t know how. He panicked. Words shot out of his mouth, out of control.

 

 

“Since when have I ever said I wanted all this? Why are you trying to force _your_ expectations of our relationship on me? Be realistic, whatever was going on between us was never going to last. We’re going our separate ways, we’re probably never going to see each other again. Before you know it, we won't even remember one another.”

 

 

It hurt. It hurt Minhyun, having to force those words out of his mouth. But he couldn't help it. He didn't leave himself much of a choice.

 

 

Seongwu blinked. Shock and disappointment came first, and then, nothing but anger.

 

 

“Fuck you.” And with that, Seongwu’s hand landed on Minhyun’s cheek with a sound that reverberated throughout the corridor, and he stalked off, feeling like he was the one who had gotten the slap.

 

 

 

**_Do you remember that last day_ **

_**When you laughed warmly** _

_**That smile is left in my heart** _

_**The lingering feeling is left** _

 

 

The air that winter was chillier than usual, but it was nothing compared to ice cold feeling in his chest. Miniature frozen icicles lay precariously on Minhyun’s eyelashes. Maybe it was formed from his tears, or the light drizzle that day, or perhaps it was both.

 

 

Minhyun knelt down on the cold, wet, ground and faced the singular stone structure in front of him, still unable to believe the words that were carved onto it.

 

 

Never again would they go clothes shopping together, the other constantly asking for recommendations of clothing that ‘cool kids’ wore, in efforts to look younger. Often which ended up in ‘fashion parades’ (which, of course, got them kicked out of the store), of ridiculous combinations of clothes Minhyun had picked out.

 

 

Never again would they go on food tours around the country, or spend an entire day in the kitchen messing around, trying random, unique, combinations of various foods and ingredients. The fights they had at home whenever a failed ‘food invention’ sent them running to and from the only toilet they had at home.

 

 

“I’ll miss you, mom, I love you. Always.”

 

 

 

_**The heart that can’t reach you hurts** _

_**T** _ _**he words that I can’t relay to you till the end** _

_**It keeps hovering on my lips** _

 

 

There were only three people in the practice room, but the amount of tension in there? Let’s just say it was enough to ignite a second Cold War. Maybe.

 

 

“Soulless, complete lack of emotion, zero chemistry. A lacking performance overall. I get that you’re going through stuff, but please, its your last show, at least try to put it some effort. I honestly don’t know how on earth the two of you are going to get up on that stage without embarrassing yourselves tomorrow.”

 

 

Seongwu knew the trainer was right. Yes, he was able to pull off the dance, yes, he was able to sing, but he just wasn’t feeling it. How could he, considering his outburst of anger earlier?

 

 

.

 

 

“Well look who finally decided to show up. I never knew you were this much of a coward, Hwang Minhyun. We could’ve just settled it, calmly worked out that ‘conflict of interest’ we had, once I returned from the jungle, like people do. But I guess someone couldn’t take the pressure, or guilt or embarrassment or whatever is going on in that unpredictable brain of yours, yeah?”

 

 

Silence.

 

 

“Are you even listening to me? You’re just going to stand there without saying anything? First you disappear trying to avoid me, and now that you’re here, you’re not even going to bother apologizing or explaining yourself? Real immature, Hwang Minhyun, seems like I’m much better off with you ignoring me.”

 

 

And with that, Seongwu stalked off, not once turning back to so much as glance at Minhyun, who stood there, on the brink of tears, still struggling to bring words out of his mouth.

 

 

 

_**Are you still there** _

_**During those times which were hard to bear** _

_**Even if I keep tripping and falling I will stand up again and run again** _

_**Even though I am late, I have come to you** _

 

 

Seongwu threw himself onto the sofa, opposite the one Moon Bin lay sprawled on. “Well that was fun, didn’t realise how much I’ve missed being on stage.”

 

 

“You did great, Seongwu hyung, thanks for agreeing to perform at our show.”

 

 

Moon Bin, full-time member of Astro, part-time fan boy (Seongwu had many, needless to say) of his label mate, sat up and proceeded to elaborate on the seemingly endless list of things he admired and enjoyed about Seongwu’s three-minute performance. It wasn’t until reason fifteen (or possibly more, who could keep track, really, the boy just rambled on and on) that Moon Bin noticed Seongwu, lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, troubled look in his eyes, sighing.

 

 

“Okay. hyung, what is it? You’ve been acting like the sky’s fallen on you. Perk up, will you?”

 

 

Seongwu snorted, letting out a laugh completely void of any form of joy, only distaste and disappointment.

 

 

“We had a fight before I left to film Law of the Jungle, Minhyun and I. And you’d think the two weeks break we had away from each other would be long enough for us to calm down, right? Guess what I returned to, two weeks later? Minhyun, not in the dorms, not anywhere, the coward probably too consumed with guilt and ran off trying to avoid speaking to me, wouldn’t put it past him to do that, if I’m honest. And when I tried talking to him yesterday? He couldn’t even look me in the eyes, wasn’t even willing to speak to me properly. What’s his problem, seriously?”

 

 

“Hyung, you’re kidding right? Have you not heard about what’s happened? How?”

 

 

“What? What’s happened? Don’t look at me like that, how the fuck am I supposed to know what’s going on? I’ve just returned from two weeks in the jungle, no service, no communication with the outside world whatsoever, and in the past two days I’ve done nothing but rehearse, hell, I’ve barely even had the chance to speak to any of the members! Does it _look_ like I’ve had the time to what, have a jolly old catch up session with anyone? Or to go online, for that matter?”

 

 

Moon Bin ran his hand through his newly bleached hair, mumbling to himself, “Don’t even know if I’m supposed to be the one telling you this…”

 

 

“Tell me what? Moon Bin-ssi you’d better start talking or I’m heading out to demand answers, and you know how big of a scene I am capable of creating.”

 

 

Oh, Moonbin knew alright.  

 

 

“Minhyun hyung, his mom passed away last week. He had to go back to Busan to send her off.”

 

 

Seongwu froze, a wave of numbness crashing onto him.

 

 

And then, the emotions. The very things that make us human, yet, the same things that have the power to sometimes make us feel less human. Inhumane. The exact word Seongwu would use to describe himself, at this point. A mixture of numerous emotions that shot into his heart from every direction, piercing into it mercilessly, threatening to break it. And break it they did.

 

 

Realisation. _That_ was why Minhyun left Seoul. _That_ was why he’d seemed so distant the previous day. _That_ was what Seongwu was too busy throwing a petty tantrum to hear about.

 

 

Regret. Seongwu had wrongly accused Minhyun of running away, of giving up, of being a coward, when in fact? It was precisely those things that he had done. He’d turned his back on Minhyun, when it was exactly a shoulder to lean on that the other needed the most.

 

 

Devastation. Seongwu knew how much Minhyun loved his mother, how much he respected her, admired her. How everything he did was with her in mind. How she was his only family left. Seongwu also knew what a great mother she’d been, how she’d fuss over Minhyun even though he was more than capable of cleaning his room in the dorm, or washing and ironing his clothes.

 

 

Determination. Seongwu was going to make this right. He didn't know exactly how, but the only thing he did know now was that he had to be there for Minhyun. To reconstruct the pillar of support he was supposed to be for Minhyun, but that Seongwu had so impulsively, so selfishly, destroyed.

 

 

“I have to go.”

 

 

Having expected Seongwu to run off in search of Minhyun, Moon Bin grabbed onto Seongwu’s wrist immediately, holding him back. “Wait, no, hyung!”

 

 

_“What?”_ Seongwu hissed, voice now laced with desperation and anxiety.

 

 

“Okay you didn’t hear this from me, but Minhyun hyung’s here. He came to watch you perform, hyung. He told me not to say anything because he didn't want you to get distracted but I guess since your performance is over…”

 

 

That was the second time that day Seongwu felt his heart stop. Minhyun… came? Even though he was still grieving, and would be much better off resting in the dorms? Minhyun had promised, three months ago, that he would be here, watching Seongwu’s first solo performance. And now, despite everything that had just happened, Minhyun, still, had kept to his word. Minhyun was here, for Seongwu.

 

 

“Is he still here?”

 

 

“I don’t know, but we gave him a seat in one of the private stands. Just head through Exit T upstairs, the stand’s there.” Moon Bin released his grip and gave Seongwu a pat on the back.

 

 

“Good luck hyung, I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

 

 

“Thanks, Bin, really appreciate your help.”

 

 

Just as Seongwu dashed out the room, though, his path was immediately blocked by a burly, towering figure, looming over him.

 

 

“Ya, where do you still want to run off to? It’s time to head to Gocheok, your concert starts in less than three hours and judging from the complaints I’ve heard, you and Minhyun still have a lot of rehearsing to do.”

 

 

“Minhyun, manager hyung, where’s Minhyun, is he still here?”

 

 

“He headed to the stadium right after your performance was over. Now get to the car, you’ve wasted enough time already, Seongwu-ssi!”

 

 

The car ride took a mere fifteen minutes, but to Seongwu, it was fifteen minutes too long. He had to get to Minhyun.

 

 

 

**_Even though I am late, I have come to you_ **

**_In the end, it’s you_ **

 

 

“Hey.”

 

 

Seongwu trod into Minhyun’s waiting room lightly, cautiously, as if one wrong move would set off a ticking time bomb.

 

 

Minhyun’s red, swollen eyes looked up and met Seongwu’s.

 

 

_How could I not have noticed this yesterday?_

 

 

Seongwu grabbed the nearest chair and sat himself infront of Minhyun, before gently taking Minhyun’s hands into his own hands, now sweaty and shaking, and took a deep breath.

 

 

“I-I’ve just heard about what’s happened. I know nothing I say can really help make you feel better, and I know I should’ve done this so much earlier, I know I’m probably too late, but I hope you know that I’ll be with you, through this. Allow yourself to grieve, give yourself time to heal, okay? I’ll be here.

 

 

And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lashing out, I’m sorry for blaming everything on you, I’m sorry for not listening.”

 

 

Minhyun managed a small laugh, cupping Seongwu’s tear-streaked cheeks in his palm, tears of his own slowly welling up in his eyes.

 

 

“No don't, please don't apologize. I should’ve told you as soon as I had the chance to, I just... I just didn’t know how. It hurts, you know? Knowing she’s no longer here. But I’ll get through it. It’s what she’d want, it’s what she’s been teaching me my entire life. To be strong, to find a way to be happy even in the most difficult times. And I’m thankful, I guess, for the memories of her I have, at least I have a part of her left to keep. So please, don’t beat yourself up about it, alright? I’ll be fine. But thank you. Thank you for being here.”

 

 

Seongwu remained silent, quietly listening to Minhyun speak. Partly because of the guilt that still continued to eat at him despite Minhyun’s words, but also, because he knew, that it was time he just listened, listened to everything Minhyun had to say.

 

 

“And about that... conversation we had before you left, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the answer you were hoping for. I’ve dealt with so much loss my whole life, and because of that I’ve grown to be afraid of attachment, afraid to love. But having spent some time back home these past few days, I’ve gotten the chance to think about everything, and it just… hit me, how selfish I was being, and how much I was letting my past hold me back, and how much I was hurting the people around me because of it. How much I was hurting you. And I’m so, so, sorry for that. And I just wanted to let you know, that I’m willing to give this, give us, another chance, that is, if you do too.”

 

 

Before Seongwu even had the chance to respond, a knock on the door sounded, giving them the cue to head to prepare for their stage.

 

 

Well, good things will have to wait, won’t they?

 

 

 

_**Under the sun, up on the waves** _

_**Under three climbs when I'm far away** _

_**Maybe what I miss most** _

 

 

“-was you, Min.”

 

 

As the lights dimmed and the two disappeared into the darkness, Seongwu and Minhyun drew closer to one another, bit by bit, till their foreheads, now dripping with sweat, touched.

 

 

The stadium was now pitch black, yet the spark between Seongwu and Minhyun grew bright, brighter than it had ever been. A spark, a light in the dark, only they could feel, could see.

 

 

“I should've had more faith in us, and I was wrong, so wrong for ever thinking otherwise. This isn't going to tear us apart. Not now, not ever. Difficult as it may be, I know now. I know now that you are the one I want to be with, for as long as time will allow. I love you, Ong Seongwu.”

 

 

Minhyun whispered to the other male, with a voice so soft, their microphones, now damp with their tears, didn’t pick up. All around them, the crowd chanted their names, shouted for encores, filled the stadium with thunderous applause. Yet, it was a voice loud enough for just the two of them to hear, along with the quick, strong beating of their hearts, and their heavy, trembling breaths. This moment was theirs, and theirs only.

 

 

“I love you too, Hwang Minhyun, I love you.”

 

 

The two closed the crevice in between their lips and kissed, slowly, yet passionately. Each savoured the taste, the feeling of the other’s lips against their own. Something they had craved, for almost as long as they had known each other for. Something they’d never dared to take the chance to do. Not until now.

 

 

Having reluctantly ended the kiss after their manager’s thunderous voice demanded they return backstage through their in-ears, Seongwu and Minhyun intertwined their fingers, holding each other’s hands firmly, tightly, like they would never let go. (Which they wouldn't, really, if they had a choice.)

 

 

“So… boyfriends?”

 

 

Seongwu smirked, reaching over to place a kiss on Minhyun’s cheek. “What do you think?”

**Author's Note:**

> To you, who has taken time out of your day to read this fic, THANK YOU. This is the first fic I've written in what, 6 years? And this isn't a great fic, to be honest, but I hope you've enjoyed it :)


End file.
